A Case of Mistaken Identity: Part Two

A couple of years ago, I went on a date with a lovely woman named Heather. She was bright, charming, funny and attractive…and most importantly she had a kind heart. I met Heather through a mutual friend, and when I bumped into her a few days later, quite by accident, I asked her out.

We went to dinner at one of my favorite Thai restaurants. The conversation flowed easily and she seemed comfortable in her own skin. We had a similar point of view on lots of things and she made me laugh. I had a great time, and as the evening drew to a close, I knew I wanted to see Heather again.

When I got home from work the following night, there was a letter in my mailbox. The envelope was green, and the handwriting unmistakably feminine…but there was no return address, so I couldn’t guess who the sender was. I opened it to find a card with an illustration of a kitty cat in a bathtub and lots of pink flowers and seahorses and bottles of perfume on the shelf above the sink. The kind of card that a seven year old girl might send out as a birthday party invitation. I was intrigued to say the least.

I opened the card and read the inscription:

“Dear John:

Thanks for a lovely and delicious evening. Hope your shoot went well.”

Followed by a hurriedly written signature which contained a capital “H”, and a “t”, and possibly and “e” and an “r”.

My first thought was...“Heather”.

My next thoughts went something like this:

1. She used the words “delicious” and “wonderful”. Sounds like she had a good time!

2. A thank you note? That seems kinda formal and uptight. I don’t know her well, but that doesn’t seem like the Heather I went out with the previous night. What was that joke that made the rounds when I was in college? Oh yeah…”Why don’t sorority girls go to orgies? Too many thank you notes afterwards.”

3. This card doesn’t look like one that a 40 something year old woman would pick out. Unless she’s using her 12 year old daughter’s stationery. Not possible…even a 12 year old girl would be embarrassed to use this stationery.

4. Whether she purchased the card or borrowed it from her daughter, she probably has a house full of wicker wreaths, sickly-sweet smelling potpourri, floral scented candles, “Precious Memories” dolls, stuffed animals and figurines of unicorns and more than one cat. Yikes!

5. Wait a second…How could she mail a letter after 11 p.m last night and have it arrive on my doorstep the following day? Even if a member of her immediate family is a postal worker that would be tough to pull off.

6. What other woman named Heather would have sent me a thank you card for a wonderful and delicious evening? I’d been out of the country for a month and had just returned a few days earlier. Whoever it was was very tardy in sending me a thank you note. How rude!

7. Who else have I been to dinner with in the last few days?

8. Who do I know that would use such girly stationery?

9. Bingo! My next door neighbor…whose name is Hunter!

Hunter had very kindly agreed to keep an eye on my place and water my plants while I was gone, so when I returned I took him out to dinner to thank him and to catch up. As soon as I figured out that the card was from him, and not Heather, I e-mailed him immediately, and within minutes I could hear him next door howling with laughter.

Heather got a kick out of the story as well, and we did have several more dates, despite the fact that she has multiple cats.

Footnote: To read about another case of mistaken identity, click here