La Cascada

What Honduras lacks in water pressure, it more than makes up for with its many spectacular waterfalls. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's why there's no water pressure....all the water is gushing down scenic gorges and not out of the faucets.

Yesterday I took a 3.5 hour hike to Pico Bonito National Park to see one of the most magnificent waterfalls I've ever witnessed. I arrived at the ranger station where the woman behind the desk took my 130 limpiras, then unfolded a well-worn piece of notebook paper to reveal a hand-drawn map of the route. This is apparently the only copy in the entire country, so you can't take it with you. I felt like I was a soon-to-be-released prisoner being told by a fellow inmate where the buried treasure was. You'd think that for 130 limpiras somebody could run into town and stop by the KwikCopy.

The only hitch was that the 2 minute "orientation" was entirely in Spanish, and I didn't want to "cheat" by asking her to repeat the instructions in English, which I'm pretty sure wasn't an option anyway. I did manage to glean that the hike up to the falls took about an hour and a half each way, and that I needed to keep a sharp eye out for the turn-off from the main trail.

The hike begins with a 100 yard long bridge, suspended at a dizzying height above the roiling waters and gargantuan boulders below. I'm talking about the kind of bridge in an Indiana Jones movie, that gets more and more wobbly the further out you walk. And then they cut to a closeup shot of a frayed cable about to break, and the next thing you know, Harrison Ford is hanging on for dear life while the crocodiles lick their chops.

I had been told by the folks at Omega Lodge that there was really no way to miss the turn-off to the waterfall. Any time someone gives me directions that include the phrase "You really can't miss it" or "There's only one way to go", I feel like one of the children of Israel about to wander off into the Sinai desert for 40 years.


About 45 minutes into the hike, right about the time I was starting to wonder if I had missed the turn-off, I encountered a couple of sweaty hikers coming down the trail towards me. They were trying to explain to me in broken English something about "turning to the right path….very difficult…the cross…something something something". I was beginning to wonder if they were missionaries, when I realized their accents were French and I blurted out “Parlez-vous Française?” To which they responded “Oui!...Trés difficile...tournez a droit…la croix est jaune…je ne sais quoi." Thank goodness for Miss Crichton’s high school French class...I remembered the word “jaune”... which if you’ve ever seen anyone with jaundice you will recognize as the word for “yellow”.

It all came into focus as I realized they were saying that the sign marking the path to the waterfall was a yellow cross that was very difficult to see and when I did see it I should turn to the right. So they weren’t missionaries after all…simply two good Samaritans trying to prevent me from becoming a lost soul. I kept my eyes peeled, and sure enough, about 30 minutes later, I came upon the cross, which Hiawatha would not have been able to locate with a GPS.


It was all worth it in the end, however, because I did get to see a truly magnificent sight, and I made it back to the lodge in one piece before nightfall.


And speaking of waterfalls…the following day I took the ferry from the mainland back to the island of Roatan. You know you’re in for a rough ride when the lady at the ticket window hands you your change and a complimentary Dramamine® tablet. I’m dead serious.

I didn’t take the motion sickness pill, since the trip was less than an hour and a half in duration and I wanted to be coherent when I arrived.  After about 45 minutes, I actually drifted off to sleep but was awakened by a combination of my own nausea and the awful sound of half the people on board puking their guts out. It was like listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with a case of amoebic dysentery.

I can just imagine the conversation on the playground:
“What does your dad do?”
“He has a brand new job…he works on the ferry boat to Roatan. The guy before him quit after only 3 days!? How ‘bout your dad?”
“My dad just quit his job…He heard they had an opening at the zoo cleaning up after the elephants.