iBuddha

Like so many users of the ubiquitous iPhone,  every time I bump into a friend we're comparing the latest "apps" we've downloaded.  Or, if they're one of the 37 remaining people on the planet who hasn't purchased this amazing and addictive device, I'm compelled by some evangelistic urge to testify how it has changed my life.  

It's about as obnoxious as being trapped in an elevator with an insurance salesman, a Jehovah's Witness and an acquaintance from college you haven't thought about in years who's appeared out of nowhere to offer you a once-in-a-lifetime chance to get in on the ground floor of a new business "opportunity"...and the guy who told them about it is raking in 5 figures a month and drives a Rolls Royce convertible...but it's not "multi-level marketing."  

In other words, I've become a complete iHole. 

The number of useless, time-sucking, inane applications for the iPhone is literally mind-numbing.  I chose a word at random and searched the iTunes Store, which produced the following list of applications available for download:

Sheep

Sheepish

Electric Sheep (?)

Catch the Sheep

Sheep Abduction (?!!) 

Black Sheep Lite

iZoo

Construction Site (huh?)

Animals Sound Machine

Sheep Count

A World of Lullabies

Pre-School Music

and my personal favorite...Death Screams (what the...?)

Who thinks these things up?  And then spends hours and hours writing computer code and building a cute user interface so people can download them for free and do who knows what with poor, innocent, animated sheep?  In my spare time I can barely keep up with mowing the lawn.  Maybe a sheep.....

That said, I've really enjoyed an application I downloaded recently called "Buddha".  If I'm waiting for my order at a restaurant, or stuck at a traffic light, I can gaze at an ancient statue of Buddha with late afternoon sunlight streaming across his placid features, accompanied by a quotation to ponder.  And if I shake my iPhone vigorously, a new quotation is revealed.  Magic 8-Ball meets the Bodhisattva.

And...when the light turns green, if I'm still pondering the sound of one hand clapping, I'm soon enlightened by the sound of many hands honking.

What did the Buddhist monk say to the New York hot dog vendor?

"Make me one with everything."